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  I truly enjoyed being near this man. I snuggled into his chest and he ran his fingers thru my hair. “Mandy you know I love you very much and your happiness is all that matters to me!” Did he sniffle? “Stop Cam! Please Don’t! Just please!” The dam busted and tears went wild. “I love you Cam please don’t break up with me! I need you!” He squeezed me tighter, “I’ll never leave you! You’ll have to leave me! I love you too much!” Kevin was always causing some kind of ripple in my life. Would I actually give him another try over Cam? I must be stupid re-losing my fucking mind again.

  We snuggled and I finally dozed off. The headache from crying was too much for me. Cam was shirtless and propped up on the headboard watching the Sci-Fi channel; which we both loved. I had to put some serious thought into this before I left him. Hell Kevin didn’t even ask me back just said he missed me. I slid my hand up Cam’s chest and he startled. “Damn baby I didn’t know you were up! Feeling any better?” Yeah he was too damn perfect. So I rolled over on top of him and started kissing his neck. “I guess you feel better!” He sat the remote on the night stand. “Good thing I got Ti-Vo; I been waiting a week to see that movie!” We laughed, God he was a dork! “Yes Lord we sure can’t miss another movie about aliens!” He smacked me on the butt. He was just too easy. If life with him would always be like this I could never leave him. I needed his warmth and happiness. Maybe some people where meant to be together? Maybe I survived Kevin so I could find Cam? Maybe I’ll survive this so I can see how perfect Cam is? Makes sense right? God I hope so! My head and my heart were having a lack of communication. I think they need better service. We made love for the millionth time and I lost myself in Cam’s arms. Never has any man’s hold been so safe and comforting. My stomach was growling like a caged bear. “Hey babe you wanna get some food?” I knew other than my hair I had to look a million times better.

  Three days later I was greeted by an email. I was gonna have to change my middle name to tormented here soon; yeah Mandy ‘Freakin Tormented’ Hanson. How’s that for a damn name tag buddy? I swear Kevin was tormenting me in Georgia now. And this was supposed to be my safe zone. I can’t remember if I hate him today or feel sorry for him; I guess it depends if it’s Tuesday or Thursday!

  Dear Mandy,

  Hey it’s Kevin! But you probably knew that already. Sorry about hanging up on you the other day! Just couldn’t bare it! Well the reason I am sending this email is because we were asked to speak at the broker’s seminar in Atlanta. The one we met at. I know it’s awkward but I need this to recruit more help. It just fell into my lap and they want us both since it’s both our business. Please say you can help me out. It’s September 10th. I would really appreciate it more than you can believe. You can reply me here or give Latonya a call. I’m flying out there the 8th so let me know so I can have the invite confirmed.

  Always,

  Kevin

  Well I guess I have no choice but to accept. I mean I wanted to distance myself from him till the New York meeting but if this business fails so does my name and money flow. Maybe I could look into opening a branch in Atlanta; maybe near Mitchell’s business. Defiantly need to talk to Kevin about it. Our brokerage was like our child we had to share. I shut my laptop. I’d call Latonya after breakfast. I wanted to see how she liked the apartment anyways. She’d been too busy to talk much lately. So for the benefit of both of us I would say yes. But damn I had to spend two days with Kevin working on the project. Damn where would we meet? The hours had to be late because we had two days to throw something together the other speakers had months to prepare for. Fuck more damn drama from Kevin.

  Momma was making breakfast so I sat and ate with her. Then I was off looking for a pen and pad to call Latonya. Momma was reading the paper at the table when I sat down to make my call.

  “Hey Latonya it’s Mandy!”

  “Damn girl where you been hiding?”

  “Same place as always! But anyways! Tell Kevin I will do the seminar with him in Atlanta. We need to discuss what is supposed to be discussed in the lecture or whatever. And find out where we have to meet because we have two days to do something the others had had months to prepare for. I want a jump start. He said you needed to confirm the offer!”

  Damn I was in business mode and Momma was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I just nodded. I hadn’t even noticed Cam was behind me. “Hey email me everything you can because I want to deal with Kevin as little as possible. Yeah I know he’s acting weird. Well that’s his business I frankly don’t give a fuck. Ha-ha fuck doesn’t sound that funny coming from my mouth. Yes we are good; he’s an awesome boyfriend. Yeah we both have been really busy. Call me tonight and we can chat longer. I want to hear about the apartment! Ok do that. Love you too girl! Bye!” Damn Latonya loved to talk but she was thorough because the emails were already pouring in.

  “What’s up baby?” Damn Cam scared me. “Not much just some work stuff; got to do a lecture at a seminar in Atlanta on the 10th. How’s your morning? You’re here early!” He was off today; I figured he would sleep in. I know I would. “I missed you and I figured Momma made me some muffins!” Momma chuckled, “Yes son I did, they’re in the oven keeping warm. I’ll get them for you!” He was a Momma’s boy, my Momma’s boy. “What is the thing you have to do for work?” I didn’t hide anything from him; life was easier that way. “Well I could totally pass on this because I hate these things, but Kevin needs some new employees so he will recruit some there. And I was thinking this morning that I might open a branch down here. So I’ll have something to do!” Cam smiled, “Sounds good baby! You are seriously smart and I totally have faith in you baby. Anything you do will work out. I’m proud!” God that meant so much coming from him.

  I bounced over to him and sat on his lap. I hugged him, “Hey you could be my secretary! Hmmmmm just think of all we could do on my desk!” And just as it left my mouth it hit me what I said. Cam must have seen it all over my face. “Hey how ‘bout I be the buff security guard who saves you from the paper pushing obsessed mail boy and you want to reward me for saving you!” I died laughing. “Only you Cam; bless your heart!” Momma came back with his muffins. “Ya’ll we all don’t need to hear your office fantasizes.” Poor Cam turned one hundred and one shades of red. “Now Cam son why are you blushing; I know what you and Mandy do!” Poor fella could have crawled under the floor and dies. He looked like a burnt lobster. My smile was ten feet wide as he squirmed like a guilty toddler. I swear he is precious. Momma left the room chuckling and Cam regained himself. “That was so damn embarrassing! Holy shit I think I’ma die!” Okay he is seriously precious.

  We discussed my upcoming events and he didn’t look phased. “Hey babe I got a question? Can anyone come and see your presentation or whatever you call it?” Hmmm…not sure…. “I’m not sure but I can find out! Why? What’s up?” He grinned, “I just wanna see my baby in action. You know I’m impressed and proud of you. And I know you’ll look killer sexy in a suit!” Yeah precious came to mind again. But seriously that was an awesome compliment. He’s so loving. “Babe that was really sweet! I’ll hide ya in my pocketbook if I have too.” His laugh was hilarious. “Hope that pocketbook has wheels baby!” Damn was I ready for Cam and Kevin to see each other? That would be odd; well more so uncomfortable, they are polar opposites.

  The next few days went by in a blur; whether it was from the nervousness or just the pure dread of this whole bullshit situation. Latonya faxed me all the info and me and Kevin were going over stuff via email or chat. I just couldn’t stand hearing his voice. One person can only shoulder so much for so long. Life is a bitch like that. I was gonna say at the hotel where the seminar was held to have time to go over the project with him. It was too much driving and traffic for me to commute back and forth for three days. Cam was gonna come see me when he could. He knew I had a room with a conference table in it and Kevin would be up late with me. But he trusted me and I loved only him. I reminded him over and over how special he was to me and how no o
ne has ever loved me like he loves me.

  Chapter Six:

  But here I am at 9:18 am with my ass in a hard plastic chair waiting for Flight 816 from New York to land. Yeah I’m picking the asshole up. Life is a bitch like that. I was sitting in the corner crouched over my phone playing one of those free trial games. You know the ones you get so pissed over the fact you can’t win that you buy the full version to try an own that bitch! And two months later that bitch is still owning you. Damn technology will be my down fall. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t a Saint in my previous life. Because it’s that or a toilet; because I sure get shitted on a lot and just keep bouncing back. Okay I’m hoping for the Saint of the two.

  Cam better be lucky I love him because his text almost caused me to die…..again. And that just wasn’t cool. “Love you baby see you at seven for some hot hotel sex!” Well when you put it like that dying didn’t look too bad. The people around me must think I’m nuts. I went from shaking the hell out of my phone in an attempt to blow the bad guy up to cheesing like hell. I must have serial killer written all over me. Better watch out before they sick homeland security on me. Yep cornbread Mandy was back.

  “That must be one hell of a game there hun!” That voice startled me; I was scared to turn around. “It would be awesome if I could win. I’m a woman obsessed.” He chuckled, “How I know that!” Finally, I got up and turned to face my ex-husband Kevin Eakes in all his Armani glory. Even after six years he could still take my breath away. He looked tired, but God had he gotten more attractive; the only man that could come close or on the level with Cam McLean. Handsome or sexy wasn’t a strong enough word to describe Kevin. He was six foot tall, with shiny brown hair; seriously he could do shampoo commercials. He was well past a trim, he usually kept it short, he was kinda looking like Cam. Just not as good. His chocolate eyes smoldering behind thick black lashes where enough to make any woman buckle under his gaze. He had always been really broad, not anywhere as defined as Cam’s muscles. But his was still attractive. Yes I have a weakness for attractive men; so sue me.

  “Mandy I didn’t think you could get anymore gorgeous. Wow your hair is really long.” Okay in that fitted suit he was as sharp as the devil. God I actually at this moment realized how much I missed this man. “Well thanks Kev you still look great in tailored Armani.” Trying to keep it friendly and free of emotion; “Come on let’s get you to the hotel Kev. I know you got up early to catch that redeye.” Wow I sounded almost like a concerned wife. My phone rang out Dev’s ringtone. Lord I let him pick it out and let me tell you how funny I look with Snoop Dogg blaring out about gin and juice or something like that out my phone. “God Devin we got to change your ringtone. Everyone at the airport was looking at me funny.” He laughed, “I can believe that fo shizzle!” Lord bless his heart. “Ok you got shit head right?” Here comes the fun, “Yes Dev get to the point.” It was gonna be two or three long days, I was thinking as we walked to my Camaro. “Me and Cam where talking about coming to Atlanta to see you and Mitchell. Cam said he was gonna come see you tonight. Can I tag along?” I guess the party always comes to me. “Yes Dev you can come here with Cam. You can sleep on the couch. Just remember I’m here for work not for a party in the big city. We can do that sometime soon always because Cam’s birthday is coming up. Hey I love you but I got to go traffic is crazy! Bye!”

  Finally, maybe Mr. Pimp Juice or whatever would leave me alone. “Wow you’re gonna have a full house aren’t ya?” I almost forgot he was in the car. “Yeah if I leave Devin for more than four hours he starts to go into withdraws. They’ll be here around seven so we’ll have a while to work before madness descends.” He laughed a little. It was both awkward and familiar all at the same time. “I forgot how bad Atlanta’s traffic was, even this early in the morning!” God he had no idea; it was actually semi-moving today.

  “Ummmm so how has life been treating you in Georgia?” I almost preferred the awkward silence to awkward questions. “Really good actually; I’m with family and friends having a ball just like old times!” His face looked sadder, “That’s great! I’m really happy for you because I knew your family meant a lot to you. I was thinking the other day at how much I missed mine. It’s been years since I been to Florida. Well since you dragged me to Mom and Dad’s anniversary party!” Man I remembered that; I had to raise hell to get him to stop working and come. But then he had a ball. We were going down memory lane and that was never good. So I hit shuffle on my IPod, hoping to find something to relax my nerves. I hate being nervous because just like Cam I ramble sometimes. And I didn’t want to ramble with Kevin. He finally came out the suit jacket. “God it’s so damn hot here. I surely don’t miss hot Septembers!” Yeah he was never one for heat much. Fuck how many more songs do I have to skip to find one without bad memories? Damn my fetish for sad and country songs. Hell yeah this was a great song “I’m Yours” by my favorite band The Script. Totally mine and Cam’s song. This had me smiling and relaxing; and missing my Cam.

  I glanced at Kevin and he looked pitiful. I guess my song had the opposite effect on him. And why the fuck do I care; that bastard broke my heart and made me look like a freaking idiot in front of MY employees for years. Fuck him and his broken too late heart. I was happy by God and no one, especially Kevin Eakes, was gonna piss on my parade. And that was gonna be my mantra for the next few days and I was gonna have hot hotel sex at seven with my sexy ass boyfriend. He can even stay and watch if he wants to. Damn where did all this anger come from? Maybe because after an hour I was still in traffic? Ohhhh Garth Brooks! Music is my life line when I’m stressed. Music can lift your spirits with the right play list. I usually title that playlist “Put on a happy face.” Yeah Georgia had mellowed me tremendously.

  Ahhhh the flood gates had opened and we had massive movement. It was almost lunch time when we rolled up to the hotel and checked in. We were spreading out papers over the conference table and waiting for room service lunch. I was starving! “I Love You This Much” started playing on my phone and Cam’s picture came across my screen. Even in a picture he could make my heart race. “Hey baby!” His voice came across the line and relieved some of my stress. “I miss you! You know I love my lunches with my girlfriend!” Ahhhhh, “I know I know I miss you too! I have to eat sucky room service lunch while you’re at Marv’s grubbing out. I hear Dev too!” The two were as inseparable as us two. “Yes you busted me! How are things going?” I flopped into a leather chair opposite Kev across the table with my jack and coke in hand! Hell I needed a drink.

  Have you ever set in front of the ex-man of your dreams while talking to the man of your dreams on the phone? Yeah life’s a bitch…again! “Pretty slow kinda sorta threw notes around and trying to come up with a game plan for the execution for the lecture. Shitty mad boring really!” Cam’s laugh was heartwarming. “Sorry baby you want me to kiss it better?” Hell yeah. “I would appreciate that deeply!” A few more sips and I’d be showing all my cards, so to speak. Kevin looked like he was half listening; half clicking threw his laptop for a slide show presentation. “Okay babe I got to go back to work. I love you! I miss you and I’ll see you at seven!” Come on seven. “Ok baby! I love you too and ya’ll be careful okay. See you tonight!” Now I’d been alone for a bit. Kevin went to check on the food while I was ending my call with Cam. Thank God I needed the privacy.

  I sat at his computer looking at what he had typed up before in New York. His ideas were put together nicely; just a few embellishments. Maybe it wouldn’t take too much. Other than the fact we would have to use note cards because we couldn’t memorize this that fast. Something caught my eye. He had the picture folder minimized. Good Lord it was hundreds of pictures of us. Like old ones that were scanned in and some ones from old cell phones. And there was one from today he took with his cellphone. It was me with my head against the headrest with my eyes closed in traffic. Sneaky bastard. Shit if he cared this much while we were married we still be married; because if we weren’t divorced this would be
cute. I had half a mind just to delete the whole folder. Least it give his heart time to heal. It worked a little for me. But sometimes memories are worse than pictures.

  More Jack please mini-bar. You’re such a good friend. Kevin came in with the food and I was relieved that fucking slide show was creepy enough; my nerves were shot. I needed Cam and now! He was my rock. And life was getting way too complicated right now. I should have axed this fucking project from the beginning. I was such a sucker. “Hey Mandy here’s lunch!” Thank God! Pizza and Jack was a great afternoon combo. “When did you start drinking at noon?” Damn him; he was killing my buzz. “Just today; I’m stressing pretty bad.” He smiled as if he understood. “I know this was really last minute!” Not exactly the cause of my stress but it could be my scape goat. Kevin and his damn slide show, bless my heart. Come on seven; but damn that might be awkward.

  After lunch is when we really got to work. I jotted down some notes and set out to improve some previous information. So far we were keeping our distance and not touching each other. But occasionally I could catch his scent, a familiar comfort, a smell that was all Kevin; expensive cologne and soap. I found myself gazing at him as he ran his fingers through his shaggy hair furiously trying to figure out some problem on his computer. God I remember why I was taken aback by such an attractive and driven man. When his eyes met mine an awkward smile grazed his lips. Time stood still. I’m not sure how long we locked gazes but my face was warm and I looked away. The next hour somehow was less awkward; we were both working with a vengeance. We both were tired; so much like old times.